Monkeyrockworld

I cannot ignore and not write about one of the saddest things ever happened in the year 00s of this sorry ass new century: Scarey Records, the best, most honest punk rock label in the world, has called it quits. Two amazing things about Scarey Records: first, it’s an Italian label which, from the underbelly of the depressing Torino musical underground, arose like a black phoenix gaining worldwide recognition for its devotion, professionalism and real punk attitude. In fact, there has been no other label with a punker edge than Scarey. Why? Because all of the best, truest, snottiest punk bands of the late 90s and early two thousands have called it home. When you pile up together bands like ANTiSEEN, the Bulemics, Hellstomper, the Hookers, The Nerds Rock Inferno, the Tunnel Rats, Bible of the Devil, Blade of the Ripper and all the other ones, you just have to acknowledge the massive quality and quantity of awesomeness Scarey released on plastic and vinyl over the years.  Second amazing thing: I worked for Scarey for many years, up to late 2007 when, shaking hands with my best friend and label honcho Carlo, I departed for China in an attempt to change something in a fucked up life.

Scarey was part of my life since its inception, in late 1999, when Carlo approached me after a show, proposing to release a 7″ single for my band. The rare and awesome The Nerds “I wanna kill your plastic slut”. It was love at first sight.  For Carlo, and his infectious smile and truly anti conformist attitude, and for Scarey Records. This label was bound to become the punkest, coolest of them all.   So mean and true and punk and REAL that even the distributors, smaller and bigger, were afraid to touch it with a stick, because it would probably have kicked their asses so hard and make them go out of business. But we, the bastard sons of the 70s and the 80s, the kids which grew up listening to obnoxious heavy metal, watching unhealthy doses of slasher horror movies and exposed to the late 80s Italian wave of porn (you have to know, Italian people back then used to buy huge quantities of porn magazines and comic books to jack off. Problem is, the fellows didn’t just do it in the privacy of their houses, but EVERYWHERE: in the park, by the river, at the station, on the train, at the bus stand. Cum stained and encrusted magazines where ALL OVER THE PLACE. Figure out where I learnt the anatomical differences of men and women and why I started masturbating at 9 years old? ahahahahaha). Carlo was like me: a disrupted problem child with a huge need for violent satisfaction. A wise kid too: instead of blowing shit up for the rest of his adolescence, he started a fanzine, got into shows, got aroused by the freedom of metal and punk, and started to be an active member of the underground scene. Exactly like me. But, contrary to other people, we found out we had the SAME likings for all things weird, fucked up, noisy, gory and 70s women big, hairy bushes. He was my boy.

After 11 years of banging our heads against a brick wall, extensively touring all corners of normally bred and inbred Europe and America, sampling some of the best cheap (and less cheaper) thrills the world of rock had to offer, Scarey Records decided to call it quits. Why? Because, as an aborted experiment of awesomeness, it didn’t cover up enough expenses to keep on grinding people’s ears. Plus, with the invention of the goddamn internet and the consequent moronization of the mankind, records, the stuff of legends (exactly like books) are not cool anymore. Much better to stuff a pen drive full of shit music and movies and stick it up your ass, eh, you moron? A label that for definition HATED technology and released records on vinyl (do you know what vinyl is, jerk? Yes, the material that plastic pussy you bought is made of, but instead of fucking it, it’s flat, with many grooves, and music can come out of it. No, it’s not a plastic asshole, you freak) was not made to last forever. Some people say that when things are gone, other more retarded people start thinking how cool those things were. It happens every time. Maybe it will also happen this time around. But it will be too late!!! No more awesomeness for the retarded guys, thank you.

Kentucky's fried chicken never looked so good, ahahahaha...

Scarey leaves the world of the living with a final slab of wax, ironically reviving two dead bands, Kentucky’s THE HOOKERS and Georgia’s HELLSTOMPER.  Do someone know about the Confederacy of Scum? Ah, nevermind, I’m getting into too much jargon here… plus, this is not a retarded music site. Scarey leaves the world gracing this baby with the graphic talent of ANTiSEEN Jeff Clayton, and the buzzsaw guitars of redneck punks (the only and original ones) HELLSTOMPER, plus a new cut by THE HOOKERS, the best gun-totin’, face rippin’ metal punk you could find stateside during the 90s. Two great bands that, of course, no prick from the corporate independent rock business recognized as such, too busy putting out yet another piece of shit like… whatever. Why do I have to write some gay band name here, to spoil this great epitaph??!! This is the last punch in the face you’ll get from the underbelly of Torino, Italy, where the  blacks stuff cocaine balls wrapped in plastic in their mouths, and spit them in your hands when you are ready to pay for it. The last scream of reality, the last wake up call before Carlo finally stops pushing his own hard earned money into this dream, and starts doing something more personal and better with it. This is the end of a story of true attitude, belief, and uncompromising dedication for the things we loved. Scarey and Carlo were the two things I really had to leave, and man, in a very sorrowful way, back in 2007 when I switched to the Orient.

DO YOU WANT TO MAKE YOURSELF A FAVOR? BUY IT, GODDAMNIT. EVERYTHING ACCEPTED, FROM PAYPAL TO CREDIT CARDS… WE ARE PROFESSIONAL FOLKS, DID YOU DOUBT IT?  CLICK HERE.

Later on, in this far, sometimes ridiculous Orient, me and Carlo met again many times, and we talked, and talked, and laughed about all the things past, present and future. He was the only one friend to cross oceans and enter “unknown territories”  just to see me. It was one of the best things a true allegiance and friendship can give, better than any travel experience. And anyways, we have been doing a fair amount of traveling together for the past 11 years Carlo, isn’t it?
So, with some big tears in my eyes, I can wish Scarey Records would rest in peace. But I know it won’t, since such monsters are very hard to defeat, and to push them back to hell it requires a lot of stress, pentagrams, virgins, goats and candlework. Watch out that viggy boards, motherfukers!! Even Hell is too small for Scarey Records…